When she is good…

Tory looks at me with doe eyes and in her sweetest voice says “Papa, may I have a—”. Stuart starts in “Tory, did you—”. She turns on him, firing lasers from her eyes, and snarls “Stuart! I was talking!” Turning the doe eyes back on me, she says sweetly “Papa, may I have a bowl of Gorilla Munch with rice milk?”

The Cutest Lost Tooth EVAR!

Yesterday, as I was brushing Stuart’s teeth, I suddenly noticed a gap. I had been wondering when he would get his first wiggly tooth, but hadn’t heard anything yet.
Me: “Stuart, did you lose a tooth?!”
Stuart got a weird look on his face and pulled the tooth from his mouth. I am not even sure he even knew it was wiggly. Clio and Thalia were having a sleepover, so things got pretty crazy then.
The next morning, Stuart had forgotten to put the tooth pillow under his pillow, so it was sitting on a chair downstairs with the tooth still in it. He and Clio ran it upstairs and put it under his pillow so he wouldn’t forget. Later, when Clio and Stuart were elsewhere, Tory and Thalia approached me and whispered:
Tory: Can we be Stuart Tooth Fairy?
Me: You can’t tell him.
Tory: We know.
Me: Do you have a gold dollar, because I don’t.
Tory: No.
Thalia: Yes you do! In your bank!
Tory: That’s right!
Me: Ok, but you can’t let him know.
Them: Ok!
Later, there was much excitement when the kids decided to check if the tooth fairy had stopped by.

It’s because it starts with a B

Dear President Obama,

I just heard the statement you made yesterday about the Plan B decision. I was so outraged that I had to go and find the text so that I could read it. I am incensed that you would appeal to me as a parent to approve of your blatant capitulation to what I see as the Religious Right.

And as I understand it, the reason Kathleen made this decision was she could not be confident that a 10-year-old or an 11-year-old go into a drugstore, should be able — alongside bubble gum or batteries — be able to buy a medication that potentially, if not used properly, could end up having an adverse effect. And I think most parents would probably feel the same way.
– President Obama

The primary “adverse effects” you can get from Plan B are generally menstrual irregularity, nausea and vomiting. Let us compare this to Tylenol which kills almost 500 people a year. I am much more concerned about my 9 year old getting ahold of acetaminophen than levonorgestrel.

If you are going to continue to capitulate to religious conservatives and lie to me about it then I refuse to support you. You will not receive one dollar of my money, nor one minute of my time. I would much rather have some jackass in office who is honest about why he is being a jackass than someone who insists on pissing on my head and telling me it is raining.

With much less respect than I had yesterday,
V. Thane Norton III

syslog Tip of the Day

OK, if you don’t know what “Terminal” is on a Mac, stop reading now. I am serious. This is geek factor 10, Mr. Sulu.

You have been warned. I spend a lot of time at the terminal on OSX. A lot of time. Additionally, I spend a lot of time using syslog to try and figure out what went wrong on a particular machine. Now, as anyone who has used syslog knows, if you just type syslog, you get way too much information. What many people don’t know is that syslog has some really, really nice filtering features. For example, if you want to know what happened since you last booted, you just need to run 2 commands. The first is:

syslog -T sec -k Message Seq npvhash

This will give you a bunch of lines that look like (big number) localhost kernel[0] <Debug>: npvhash=4095. Now, take that number and run:

syslog -k Time ge (number)

That is everything since the last boot. If you want a different boot from that list, you can do

syslog -k Time ge (number) -k Time le (next number - 1)

Figuring this out made me so giddy, I had to tell anyone who would listen.

Audio Abuse

Today was a great day for getting youtube links that you can’t unhear. First, there was the Orchestra Fail:

Followed closely by an apparently old example of someone strangling a trumpet:

And this was all followed up by the an excellent video response:

Cover Songs

So, Stuart was imitating one of Tory’s songs for her band, saying that he was going to make his own band and play those songs. Anyway, Tory is getting all upset and we explain to her that (a) imitation is the sincerest form of flattery and that (b) there are bands that just do covers of other bands songs. This devolves into a discussion of the cover song she is most familiar with, Baby Got Back by Jonathan Coulton. So that she can hear the original song, we pull up Sir Mix Alot’s version on YouTube and she gets to see it in all it’s glory and splendor.

Parent of the year Awards, this is my entry. We followed it up with a Gilbert and Sullivan cover.