Archive for the 'Lazy Bastard' Category
(Not) a Snow Day
thane January 16th, 2007
So I checked to see if the office was closed Today, I just checked too early. Usually 7:00 is a fine time to check, but Today they changed the message at 7:45. (sigh) Tory is home from school and I could go home too. Why don’t I? Well, for one, I spent 15 min watching a truck unblock 165th. It had gotten itself stuck across both lanes. You can file that under SUCK! Since I am already here, I might as well catch up on the news and my mail, drink my coffee, warm up, and let the roads clear. The other reason is that Today is the day I scheduled to stay late to work on my homework. Might as well do that now and then go home. Maybe I can help Tory make a snowman.
One Fried Helicopter
The Road to Success
thane December 18th, 2006
I heard something I found amusing, in a painful sort of way.
from
ajc.com
Asked if any of the recommendations he’s heard so far were new to him, Bush said, “I’ve heard some ideas that would lead to defeat.”
“And I reject those ideas, ideas such as leaving before the job is done, ideas such as not helping this (Iraqi) government take the necessary and hard steps to be able to do its job,” Bush said.
I have also heard “some ideas that would lead to defeat.” What I have not heard are any ideas that would lead to success. If all options are bad, Mr. Bush, should we not seek to choose the least bad option? If all roads lead to defeat, should we not just lose and get it over with? Then, at least, we can go win at something else.
Democrats Call for More Effort
thane December 17th, 2006
As the chairman of the “Just get something done” party, I am in favor of the Democrats new position on the congressional work week. While having a job that is Monday through Friday sucks, as their employer, I expect nothing less. Also, starting on the 4th of January instead of the end of the month is a positive move. One Republican in Congress made the mistake of saying: “Marriages suffer. The Democrats couldn’t care less about families — that’s what this says.” This was rebutted by just about everyone, but the members of the military I think had the best response.
What kind of Pirate am I?
thane December 15th, 2006
Apparently, you, fair readers, are the only ones who can decide.
What kind of pirate am I? You decide!
You can also view a breakdown of results or put one of these on your own page!
Brought to you by Rum and Monkey
Music Meme
thane November 30th, 2006
It goes from Jenel to Phil to Tom to Me to the Cleaners
“You go here, find the year you turned 18, then C&P the results. Bold the one’s you liked and strike the one’s that made your ears bleed.”
Adapting what Tom did, I have italicized those songs/artists whom I did not recognize.
1. That’s What Friends Are For - Dionne & Friends
2. Addicted To Love - Robert Palmer
3. Kiss - Prince
4. Walk This Way - Run D.M.C./Aerosmith
5. Living In America - James Brown
6. Take My Breath Away - Berlin
7. Burning Heart - Survivor
8. Walk Like An Egyptian - The Bangles
9. The Sweetest Taboo - Sade
10. You Give Love A Bad Name - Bon Jovi
11. Higher Love - Steve Winwood
12. Never As Good As The First Time - Sade
13. Greatest Love Of All - Whitney Houston
14. Tarzan Boy - Baltimora
15. Sledgehammer - Peter Gabriel
16. You’re A Friend Of Mine - Clarence Clemons & Jackson Browne
17. Manic Monday - The Bangles
18. Glory Of Love - Peter Cetera
19. Like A Rock - Bob Seger
20. I Knew The Bride (When She Used To Rock and Roll) - Nick Lowe
21. Word Up - Cameo
22. Conga - Miami Sound Machine
23. The Men All Pause - Klymaxx
24. In Your Eyes - Peter Gabriel
25. Live To Tell - Madonna
26. Dancing On The Ceiling - Lionel Richie
27. Venus - Bananarama
28. Typical Male - Tina Turner
29. Take Me Home Tonight - Eddie Money
30. Rock Me Amadeus - Falco
31. I Can’t Wait - Nu Shooz
32. If You Leave - O.M.D.
33. You Be Illin’ - Run DMC
34. Crush On You - The Jets
35. The Rain - Oran “Juice” Jones
36. Papa Don’t Preach - Madonna
37. Mad About You - Belinda Carlisile
38. R.O.C.K. In The USA - John “Cougar” Melloncamp
39. Danger Zone - Kenny Loggins
40. Words Get In The Way - Miami Sound Machine
41. Walk Of Life - Dire Straits
42. I’m Your Man - Wham!
43. West End Girls - Pet Shop Boys
44. All Cried Out - Lisa Lisa & Cult Jam With Full Force
45. We Don’t Have To Take Our Clothes Off - Jermaine Stewart
46. My Hometown - Bruce Springsteen
47. On My Own - Patti LaBelle & Michael McDonald
48. Everybody Have Fun Tonight - Wang Chung
49. All I Need Is A Miracle - Mike & the Mechanics
50. Tuff Enuff - Fabulous Thunderbirds
51. The Future’s So Bright I Gotta Wear Shades- Timbuk3
52. Love Walks In - Van Halen
53. Shot In The Dark - Ozzie Osbourne
54. The Next Time I Fall - Peter Cetera & Amy Grant
55. Move Away - Culture Club
56. Day By Day - Hooters
57. Rumors - Timex Social Club
58. I Wanna Be A Cowboy - Boys Don’t Cry
59. The Power Of Love - Jennifer Rush
60. One Step Closer - Gavin Christopher
61. A Love Bizarre - Sheila E.
62. Everybody Dance - Ta Mara and the Seen
63. Sex As A Weapon - Pat Benatar
64. Superbowl Shuffle - Chicago Bears
65. Live Is Life - Opus
66. Great Gosh A’Mighty - Little Richard
67. Jungle Boy - John Eddie
68. Crazay - Jesse Johnson and Sly Stone
69. More Than Physical - Bananarama
70. Baby Talk - Alisha
71. Pleasure and Pain - Divinyls
72. Don Quichotte - Magazine 60
73. Why Can’t This Be Love - Van Halen
74. Once In A Lifetime - Talking Heads
75. Caravan of Love - Isley Jasper Isley
Sad Sorry State of Affairs
thane November 20th, 2006
Well, I couldn’t do it. When it came down to the wire, it seems that I chose my family over my blog. Just so you know, here are the things that conspired against me.
- Illness - Everyone has come down with a 14 day cold. Coughing, stuffy noses, etc. Nothing like a breastfeeder with a stuffy nose.
- Class - Even though I am without class, I am working on a masters and take classes for that. This one was going well, but I needed more time to work on the presentation.
- Tory - For some reason, Tory gets downright cranky if I come home from work and get on the computer. It’s like she thinks she has a god given right to a relationship with her father!
- Johanna - I enjoy spending time with my wife. So sue me.
Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens
thane November 12th, 2006
Last night, as I was falling asleep, I enumerated some of my favorite things, in no particular order:
- The smell of Stuart
- The way Tory snuggles up to me after I move her when she is asleep
- Stuart’s laugh
- The way Tory tries to be all serious and bargain for the things she wants
- Various things about Johanna that I am not at liberty to enumerate
Death to Pennies
thane November 11th, 2006
I hate pennies. They are a waste of natural resources, a waste of time,
a waste of effort, and (literally) a waste of money. I hold the nickel
in slightly less distain, but if it were not for the penny, I would not
have thought much of it. However, since I have thought much of it, and
I have come up with a plan. Oh yes I have. I’ve got a plan so cunning
you could put a tail on it and call it a weasel. This plan comes in
stages, each more dastardly than the last.
Part the First: Pummel the Penny
The US Mint stops production of pennies, and orders the return of all
stock. These are melted down and turned into decorative paperweights
and sold at flea markets around the nation. Pennies will still
circulate, but they will become fewer and fewer.
Part the Second: Nix the Nickel
The same is done for the Nickel, except that they are made into hip
flasks. These two parts will probably require an act of Congress,
directing that all public transactions be rounded to the nearest tenth
dollar.
Part the Third: Down with the Dollar
The dollar bill is much less profitable than the dollar coins. Their
cost to produce per year of circulation is around 10 times that of the
coin. Additionally, they are harder for businesses to count. Get rid
of the stop pressing dollar bills and ramp up the production of dollar
coins. This is the part of the plan that will encounter the most
objections. Or is it?
Part the Fourth: Create Coinage
Why, in the name of all that is holy, do we not have a $5 coin? That
has GOT to change. While we are at it, let’s start minting $2 coins.
This will be the longest part of the plan, since it will take years and
years to come up with a design that people can live with. Feel free to
leave design comments below.
Part the Fifth: Vi veri universum vivus vici
Once we have a $2 and a $5 coin, stop printing the bills. Oh, I can
hear the howling echo back through the ages. SUCK IT UP AND DEAL! This
is for the good of the nation. Give up the bills or the Terrorists win!
Your Grandparents seemed to do just fine with no bill smaller than $10
(equivalent value), and you can too.
P.S. How is it that we live in a nation that can take the ugliest money
in the world, spend millions redesigning it, and make it UGLIER!
