thane November 5th, 2006
Dear Internets,
It has been a busy day. Stuart is definitely teething (two on the bottom) and we have a lot of catch up to play around the house. Joh and I need to vote, bills need paid, etc., etc.. My point is, this is the sorry excuse for a post that you are getting Today. I will try and make it up to you next week. Honest.
the Storywhore
thane November 4th, 2006
Really, Josephine’s party was a blast. It went much better than I had feared. Nikos and I both hurt ourselves, but there were no other casualties that I knew of. Tory had a meltdown when we were leaving, but that is not uncommon even when she doesn’t miss a meal.
thane November 3rd, 2006
Since her car was in the shop, Johanna took Tory to preschool via city bus. Now, as it happens, there is a bus that is nearly perfect for the trip, stopping both near our house and right next to the school. The trip out was fairly uneventful, and the trip back even less remarkable. That is, until Joh and Stuart got to the house. At which point she realized that she did not have her keys.
No, we haven’t gotten around to exchanging keys with the neighbors.
“Hmm. So much for getting Thane off to work at a reasonable hour; he’s barely there, and I have to call him to come home and let us in.”
But the cell phone is dead. Now what?
“Aha! I never locked that window I opened to clear the smoke.* But I can’t put Stuart through the window like I did with Tory.”
“I could climb up on a chair … and then fall and break my neck. Yeah, riiight. Wait: the shed! I didn’t lock it last night, so I can get the ladder.”
So Johanna set Stuart down on a cushy surface, got the ladder, climbed through the window, unlocked the door, and got Stuart. Problem solved.
Then she sent me this message:
“It wasn’t currently raining, and it’s actually pretty warm, and he was doing fine with a toy. Otherwise I would have hunted someone down to hold him in a warm place, but then one of our neighbors would know my shame. Now, nobody needs to know…except all the internets!”
* The fish sticks tried to fight off Johanna the other night. They lost, but took their toll.
thane November 2nd, 2006
On Tuesday, my daughter made a mess.
Stuart has been a bit fussy lately, for quite legitimate reasons:
teething, stuffy nose, fever. Tory too has been sick recently, and is perhaps a tad more needy since
the arrival of a sib. Perfectly normal. On Tuesday, Stuart was
finally going down for his first good nap of the day, and Johanna
heard Tory playing in the bathroom sink. Not alarmed, Johanna
thought to herself, “Thank you, Tory. Thank you for entertaining
yourself for a few minutes so I can get your brother to sleep.”
Tory comes into the living room.
“I want you to read me a book.”
“OK Baby. Let me get Stuart into the sling.”
Johanna hears a noise. “What is that tinkling sound?” Johanna
looks around the corner at the bathroom.
“Oh my God.” The sink is overflowing.
“Oh my God!” There is a lot of water on the floor.
“Oh my God!!!” There would be more water on the
floor, except that it is running down the hot air vent.
Stuart does not sleep through this, is rather unhappy about that
fact, and lets everyone know. Tory is perhaps taken aback by the
loss of her mother’s sanity. Johanna turns off both faucets, and
decides the towels needed to be washed anyway, but thinks to
herself that there are easier ways to mop the floor. Finally she
goes downstairs with an armload of wet towels to discover water has
also dripped through the ceiling, onto the couch, the floor, and
some boxes. She loses a bit more of her mind.
One of our wonderful neighbors told us later, “That is when you
bring Tory over and say ‘I need you to watch her for a bit so that
she makes it through the day.’”
My mom was less impressed. “I had to replace the upstairs bathroom
floor twice because of you, and I don’t know how many times we had
to patch the ceiling. It was never Elena. Just you.”
thane November 1st, 2006
Dear Readers,
As Tom has pointed out, November is NaBloPoMo. I am planning on participating, but do not worry! I plan on generating no more content than I do any month, I will just post more random drivel that no one cares about.
Now, given that I am such a poor blogger, one might ask, why am I doing this. It is simple. I hope to win an “I Fuck Like a Girl” t-shirt. I will wear this shirt proudly to public functions. When my wife gets irritated with it (i.e. immediately) I will point our that “I got it from MightyGirl!”
Wish me luck!
The Storywhore