Go Wings

thane May 19th, 2009

I happened to catch the 3rd period of the Wings game Tuesday. It being the Wings and the Stanley Cup, I was sure my Mom was watching. As it got to the end of the 3rd, I texted Mom.

Me: Some game, eh?
Mom: Yeah. Jerry and I are watching the 2nd period.
Me: Oh. Wanna know how it ends?
(long pause)
Mom: No

I laughed so hard I almost fell off my chair.

Giant Robot

thane May 19th, 2009

Girl: What if a giant came who was so big he could step down from the sky.
Dad: Guaranteed the US Government would shoot missles at it.
Girl: What?
Mom: Honey, do you remember the movie “The Iron Giant”?

John Madden Football

thane April 27th, 2009

With the announcement of John Madden’s retirement, I found myself wondering if he will continue to be the EA poster child for football. Will there be a John Madden 2010 football game. I see no reason they should stop. Frankly, I see no reason for them to stop even if he shoul pass from this mortal coil. Not that I would want anything to happen to him, but I thing that John Madden 2030 NFL Zombie Apocolipse could be one of the best things to happen to sports games. You could pick and chose dead players from the past to be on your team, feeding them cheerleaders and Hollywood stars at the half.

When Stuart was a Cat

thane April 24th, 2009

Today with Stuart:

“When I was a cat and Mac was a Stuart, I scratched the carpet. But now I am a Stuart and I don’t scratch the carpet.”

Stuart is from Portland

thane March 20th, 2009

This morning, the children wanted (decaf) coffee with breakfast. After this was established, Joh tried to figure out what Stuart wanted for breakfast.

J: What do you want for breakfast, Stuart?
S: COFFEE!!!
J: What do you want to eat with your coffee?
S: BAR!!!*
(A few minutes pass)
J: What do you want for breakfast, Stuart?
S: COFFEE!!!
J: Do you want a fried egg sandwich with your coffee?
S: Uh, huh.

* Clif Cashew Nectar bars are Stuart’s favorite food, bar none.

Stuart Angry

thane January 29th, 2009

Stuart was acting out. Hitting and throwing things, nothing unusual. I decided to talk to him about it. Afterwards I was saying:

Dad: When we are angry, we can say “I’m angry!”
Stuart: I’m angry!
D: “I want to use my hands.”
S: I want to use my hands.
D: “I want to throw things.”
S: I want to throw things.
D: “I’m going to the playroom to throw my beanbags.”
S: I’m going to the playroom to throw my beanbags.
D: Those are all things we can say when we are angry, Stuart.
S: “Those are all things we can say, Stuart.”

Demon Child

thane January 7th, 2009

A short list of things Stuart did today.

  1. Took a loaf of bread at Nature Bake and started spinning it round and round.
  2. Again at NatureBake, took a stalk of wheat from a sheaf on the wall and beat it on the floor.
  3. Swept all the books off the coffee table onto the floor
  4. Took one of the sock monkey ornaments and dropped it in the toilet while Tory was pooping.
  5. Grabbed an unopened half galon of milk from the fridge and dropped it behind the couch, where it landed on some wall warts, which punched a hole in the bottom of it

Needless to say, it was a busy day.

Stuart Kicked Me

thane January 6th, 2009

Tory: He kicked me!
Joh: And then you hit him.
Tory: No. I hit him first.

Alpha and Omega

thane December 7th, 2008

“I want to be last.”

“OK.”

I go down the stairs and he closes the gate.

“I want to be first.”

“Oh, I’m sorry. I thought when you said that you wanted to be last that you wanted to be last.”

Scrutinizing the Inscrutable

thane November 30th, 2008

Dad: And who sends Angels to talk to people?

Girl: Jesus!

D: Right

Mom: Jesus wasn’t born yet. God sent the Angels.

D: God, Jesus, the Holy Spirit - the Triune. Three in one - they are all the same.

M: I don’t think that the cover the trinity in the [youngest Sunday school class].

D: We can try to teach her about the inscrutable. We tried to teach her about the election.

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